And who am I for that matter?
Humans have this strange and inherent need to be liked by everyone.. Which is really bizarre when you think about it. Everyone is so different; some people love a wheatgrass shot just before their bikram yoga session, others love tequila shots followed by a trusty old HSP.
It’s kind of exciting that you’ll never meet the same person twice.
I mean I absolutely adore Sandy, my yappy Pomeranian (my friends will testify this), but she will never compare to Rocky, my childhood mutt. I have an inexplicable and infinite pool of love to share for dogs, and whilst I do love Sandy, I do not love her the same way I loved Rocky. She simply does not compare, nor should she. Whilst you can experience love multiple times, you can never experience the same love twice.
In your lifetime you will of course hold relationships with similar dynamics, but as with love, you will never experience the exact same relationship twice. A childhood best friend will without a doubt be different to a best friend you met in University. That’s not to say that one relationship is better than the other, they are just different.
Why? Because whilst you are like some other people, you are like no other person. Every time someone meets you, they are experiencing an encounter they will never be able to replicate.
Although I am unique, I definitely do hold qualities that are similar to others. But which qualities do I emulate and which qualities are inherent? The two blend so naturally that I often have to stop and ask myself whether I’m doing certain things for myself, or to impress others. And that’s the thing, sometimes I honestly don’t know. Without even realising it, I’m sometimes already halfway to being a carbon copy of someone that I admire. Without even realising it, I’m trying to be cool girl.
Some friends think I love socialising and excessive drinking, others think I hate the party scene and would much rather be 10kms into a hike. My workmates think I’m responsible, tidy and punctual, yet my Mother would disagree in a heartbeat.
With my health conscious friends I may be watching my weight and turning a new leaf, whilst with their less active counterparts I may be indulging in burgers and chips on a regular basis. Whilst many people find me cold or distant by nature, a partner may instead find me needy and at times suffocating.
We all tweak our personalities slightly as the company we surround ourselves with shifts. But that’s not to say that we are being fake. Sometimes I am tidy and sometimes my room resembles a pigsty. Both personas are me, just in different contexts.
So instead of asking who are you, I’d like to ask which version of you am I seeing?