But I’m a Winter kinda gal. If it was a question between being too cold or too hot, I would have always chosen the cold option hands down. The whole argument that you can always layer on more as compared to not being able to keep taking off clothes, still holds strong for me and it’s the point I bring up if the argument begins in a conversation. Maybe it has to do with being self-conscious and feeling much more comfortable covering up instead of wearing less in hot weather. Either way, I hate the stickiness of suncreen and being surrounded in stuffy warm air. I hate ice cream melting down your hands and stinging sunburns. And don’t even get me started on the swarms of flies and mosquitos and bugs.
Whenever the chilly weather rolls around, I of course complain about how freaking cold it gets. Having numb fingers is pretty painful, but that’s nothing compared to when you have to do the dreaded getting dressed in the morning for work when it’s still dark outside and your jeans feel like sheets of ice against your skin. I have to wear multiple layers of fluffy clothes at home to keep my body alive. Get caught in the rain without an umbrella and with gusts of wind hurtling against your shivering body? I’m sure someone out there finds the fun in that but it’s not most people’s cup of tea.
It’s hit the 30s here in Melbourne – tomorrow is 34°C for goodness sakes. I know it’s technically Spring and all, but we’re so used to the cold and the grey clouds that it seemed so sudden. I don’t know if it’s because of having more memories of trips in the Summer, but whenever this kind of heat washes over me, I feel incredibly nostalgic. I’m not exactly transported into a specific memory or anything, but my mind definitely feels more alive. Perhaps it’s easier to remember all the experiences I had during hot weather – where I went to countries in Asia, around Sydney, to Hawaii, the Gold Coast, etc. To be fair, it is during Summer that we have our extended holiday break and so technically it makes more sense that longer travel experiences happen during the hotter months. I am just always intrigued at the waves of bittersweet feelings that show up and make me yearn for adventure and to make more memories.
But Summer does make me feel more productive and more alive. In Winter, it’s the easiest thing in the world to bundle up in blankets and binge-watch Netflix all day and night, while stuffing your face with snacks and hot chocolate. (Please don’t judge me if you’re the type to eat one literal serving of chips and put the bag away.) It hasn’t been so good for my bathroom scales but I’d like to think I’m back on the right track of weight loss again. What also didn’t help was throwing my sense of control out the window when I visited Sydney last week. I don’t even want to think about how many calories were in the huge brunches and dinners and ice cream I ate. So now, I’m back from my mini-vacation and much more determined to be healthier and happier.
Which starts with getting out there. I spent an hour today writing up a mind map of all the things I need to start doing. There are a couple of big decisions I need to make really soon and there’s a pretty substantial list of hobbies I’d like to either get back into (yoga, ukulele, video editing, etc) or try out (sports, calligraphy, swimming, etc). I’m going to set goals to aim for and hope to not feel too discouraged when things don’t work out or I fail. It’s not just that I’m so introverted and socially-awkward, I’m also just scared of living a bigger life. I’ve never been good at motivating myself but seeing how my friends are doing as actual adults really makes me feel unaccomplished and lagging behind. They’re pursuing careers and dreams that sound amazing. They’re travelling and meeting new people all the time, and taking bigger steps every day. The only person accountable for my actions and my life is myself. So I genuinely want to catch up.
But this is still an uplifting post! I’m not going to make New Years Resolutions that I push to the side a few months into 2017 (where’s my damn goldfish), and I’m not going to fall back into the same tired and uninspiring routine. I see so many strong and active people everywhere and I look up to them. If you’re one of those “go-getters” who take opportunities when presented and find the initiative to give things a go, then kudos; you’re doing great. I hope to join you guys someday. Maybe in the near future I can stop writing blogposts about being scared and disheartened by things and instead, write about feeling more fulfilled and excited about life.
Now excuse me while I do a session of yoga from Youtube in my pjs.